Intimacy is derived from unity. You could say the building blocks for intimacy are made from unity. The more unity there is, the deeper the intimacy will be. To build intimacy, you first have to build unity. Pride and selfishness are the biggest enemies to unity, therefore they are the biggest enemies to intimacy. Spiritual unity produces the deepest and most fulfilling intimacy.
Psalms 51 from the bible basically says men are formed and conceived in iniquity. This refers to the sin nature that all men inherited from Adam’s compromise in the garden. Pride and selfishness make up the sin nature. Unless a person is born again, they are bound to this sin nature. The prideful and selfish orientation of the unregenerate keeps them captive from the humble and sacrificial ways that lead to spiritual unity. This makes it difficult, if not impossible, for the unregenerate to experience the deepest and most fulfilling form of intimacy. As a man trying to fly by leaping from the ground yet being overcome by gravity, so it is with those who have not been born again that attempt to live spiritually united, yet are repeatedly overcome by the divisive nature of sin.
Only love can break the power of sin. God is love and we must be born of God if we are to experience true unity and true intimacy. A prerequisite for experiencing true intimacy in any relationship is surrendering to the love of God. Many people have been deceived into believing that they receive the love of God and that they love God in return. To the degree that you trust and believe in God, that is the same degree that you receive his love. To the degree that you obey his commands or walk in His spirit, to that same degree you love him. How can you receive love from someone you do not trust? You can’t. How can you love someone while intentionally doing things they hate and despise? You can’t. We don’t grow until we are willing to face and accept the facts of life and become responsible and accountable.
The first true love is the love of the truth. The love of the truth is what unifies and binds us together because there is only one truth. The singularity of the truth is what unites us. Doctrines that support the belief that everyone has their own truth is a ploy from the powers of darkness to keep us divided and unfulfilled. God’s plan for us is not that we merely coexist but that we become one in love through truth. As we humbly except the truth of God, we become of one mind and one heart and one spirit. As we become one, we experience intimacy. Yeshua is the Word and the Word is truth. When we surrender our prideful self-life in exchange for the life that is in Yeshua, we gain the ability to fulfill the humble and unselfish prerequisites of true unity. The reward is blissful intimacy with God and with those who are born of His spirit.