A Glimpse at Real Marriage

threefold

People live together, have sex, share finances, have monogamous relationships, and even have children together but do not consider themselves to be married. People go to work dutifully at corporations and places of employment for upwards of 40 and 50 years, but do not consider themselves married to their jobs. So being loyal to the work in a relationship doesn’t make you married. What then sets marriage apart from these other relationships? The terms of the covenant. In the first example, people enter relationships all the time with no real expressed covenant. It’s often understood, even if not spoken, that either of them can split or go their separate way at any time they feel the need. In the second example of employment, there is a covenant, but it is based on work and some form of compensation and normally doesn’t require ordination by a higher authority like GOD, clergy, or a justice of the peace.  Also, who has ever heard of someone taking a vacation from their marriage, or clocking out from being a spouse until the next day? We probably all have, but I would question if those relationships qualify as marriage at all.  Another important difference to recognize is that everyone needs to work, but everyone does not need to be married. People should only enter a marriage covenant as a result of desiring to be joined to another, not because they need food or shelter, or some other necessity of life.

old couple

People are often praised and esteemed highly if they have been in marriage for many years. Many years of marriage used to be 20 or more years, but due to the pervasion of selfishness in recent times, this has been reduced to ten or more. The principle of quality over quantity has never had a more necessary application than that of marriage. One of my early mentors once said, “Marriage can be the closest thing you experience to either heaven or hell, while still on earth.” How many people have lived unhappily, unfulfilled, or miserably in a marriage relationship for many years, but stayed because divorce was considered a worse option? I have found that many people considering divorce really need to be considering remarriage, because the divorce has actually already taken place; it just has not been formalized. True marriage involves pursuing an intimate knowing of one another, but there are people who consider themselves to be married but are actually strangers, because they never share their true heart with one another. True marriage involves unity or becoming one, but there are couples who consider themselves to be married and they can’t agree or unite on hardly anything. True marriage involves sharing an expression of love for one another, which means each seeks to joyfully fulfill the other at the expense of self, but there are those who consider themselves to be married yet perform the necessities of marriage life grudgingly and painstakingly, only because they feel they have too.

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I am speaking here about basic biblical marriage. If you are either unfamiliar with biblical teaching or do not believe the holy bible has authority, then your idea of marriage can be what ever you imagine. On the other hand, if you want your marriage to have the life-giving blessings of The Creator, The Most High, YAHWEH (the self-existent one), then there are some specific criteria that must be part of the covenant. For the body of Christ, the Church, one of the main misunderstandings leading to missing the mark and unfulfillment, is not understanding their own heart and coming to terms with what they really value. A drug addict looking to remain drug free, focuses on not doing drugs. They are still in bondage to drugs because it is still their main focus. A person not wanting to be a sinner, focuses on not committing sin. They are still in bondage to sin because sin remains their main focus. A person looking to remain married, focuses on avoiding problems and disagreements, to avoid divorce. They are not free to journey into the joyful depths of real marriage because they are focused on the minimums to avoid divorce. This is also bondage. The Apostle Paul talks about being a bondservant to Christ. This means every day, he lives his life thinking, “How can I get closer to Christ? How can I know Christ more? How can I please and be more of a blessing to Christ? How can I love Christ more? This form of bondage leads to indescribable freedom!

So, what is the key to entering real marriage? It is the same key to a fulfilling life with GOD.

SURRENDER, as a result of experiencing TRUE LOVE.

To be clear, I am not speaking of true love with your spouse, I am speaking of true love between a person and GOD. I am also not speaking of surrendering to your spouse but surrendering to GOD. There is a certain amount of mutual submission required between married couples to find harmony, but it will not happen joyfully if surrender to GOD does not come first. GOD is love, so you need union with Him before you can love anyone, including yourself. GOD must be your FIRST love. That is my desire for every human, whether you are considering true marriage or not. It is from the spring of love that flows from GOD that we have the hope, strength, desire, and knowledge to fulfill the covenant of the joyful marriage He has ordained. Only GOD is good. If you want to be a good husband or a good wife, and have a good marriage, don’t focus on your spouse, focus on GOD, and His goodness will permeate your life. It is this same spring that feeds a true civilized society. So then, what is true marriage? It is individuals expressing their relationship with GOD through physical and social intimacy, bound by a covenant, which He has authorized.

Evoking Chavvah: A true feminist movement

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Blessings to all my daughters of “Eve” out there. I pray that your precious hearts are strengthened by the love of The Father. I would like to share some strength and life with you. Where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable. A lot of the neglect and abuse of women, the daughters of Eve, stem from ignorance or denial of her identity. The name “Eve” is in the bible for the first woman in place of the Hebrew name “Chavvah”. The original name “Chavvah” means Life-Giver. Adam, the first man acknowledged the woman was a “Life-Giver”. The bible says that the Spirit quickens, which means that the Spirit gives life. There is a correlation between the image of the Holy Spirit and how the Almighty created woman. The scripture in Genesis 1:27 reads, “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” In this scripture, mankind is the him, the masculine and the feminine as what he consisted of. Together, the masculine and the feminine makes up the image of GOD. If you exalt one and oppress the other, you obscure the image of GOD that is meant to be seen. To obscure means to darken or shroud from visibility. Who would want to hide the full image of GOD from the world?…Satan. Insight into why the Dragon wants to lock away the feminine heart in a tower of seclusion.

The oppression and abuse of women is an attempt of Satan to hinder the full glory of GOD from being manifest in the Earth. As a result of Satan’s assault on mankind’s feminine essence, woman have begun to suppress their own femininity. As a survival technique, the oppressed will often make adaptations to avoid persecution. We see this in the self-hate manifest in some African-Americans and Native-Americans stemming from the genocide they faced from the founding of the USA. In the end, what has the biggest influence on us is not what our enemies to do us, but how we choose to respond. Christ gives us the freedom to choose by exposing the works of the enemy and showing us the True path. John 8:31-33 says, “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, if ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

I was born male, but I had to learn from my Creator what it meant to be a man and then submit to my calling and purpose. I had to renounce everything that I had learned or been labelled that conflicted with who GOD said I was. Yeshua teaches in Matthew 16:25 saying, “For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” Woman has been under attack and under-appreciated for centuries, as a result, many women have renounced their femininity instead of renouncing the lies that she was merely an object for sexual enjoyment, or that she was less relevant in her feminine glory as an image bearer of GOD. For the glory of GOD and the good of mankind, every woman needs to embrace her feminine glory. Be fully the “Life-Giver” you were created to be. Look at the workings of the Holy Spirit that you exemplify: the nurturer, the encourager, she who empowers, the teacher, the illuminator and the one that disperses love of the Father.  As with most gifts of GOD, the world has proven itself to be unworthy of them but be strong and be courageously “Chavvah”.

Image is from the movie “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire” Continue reading

When Loving Gets Difficult

roses in the trash

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].  It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. (1st Corinthians 13:4-8/Amplified Bible classic edition)

Love endures with patience and serenity, love is kind and thoughtful, and is not jealous or envious; love does not brag and is not proud or arrogant. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not provoked [nor overly sensitive and easily angered]; it does not take into account a wrong endured. It does not rejoice at injustice, but rejoices with the truth [when right and truth prevail]. Love bears all things [regardless of what comes], believes all things [looking for the best in each one], hopes all things [remaining steadfast during difficult times], endures all things [without weakening] (1st Corinthians 13:4-8/ Amplified bible).

It should be effortless to love our spouses this way, after all, we are to love them as we love our selves. If we have entered the covenant of marriage with them, then we should already be convinced that they always, or at least the majority of the time, have our best interest at heart. Yet there are wars and fighting’s among the married in Christ. What is the problem…Division! Everything about marriage is toward unity and oneness, yet division is permeating in marriage. What does it mean to be divided? Here is the definition from Merriam Webster: “Separated into parts or pieces,”

also “directed or moved toward conflicting interests, states, or objects.”

The word “Divorce” mean to sever or separate. When couples get legally divorced, it is simply the manifestation of their disunity.

One of the definitions above states that divided means, “directed or moved toward conflicting interest, states, or objects.” The key word in the definition above is “conflicting.”  Conflicting means opposed to one another or resisting one another. So, becoming divided happens when a force, either from without or within, moves or directs a couple to interest that are opposed to one another, or this force is causing a couple to be moved into opposing states of mind or being, or the things or objects that they each desire are opposed to one another.

The conditioning of the world causes people to celebrate quantity over quality. People talk about themselves or other couples being married for 30, 40, or 50 years, and it is assumed that these are great unions, or good marriages. Not necessarily so. We seldom know the inner workings of other people’s relationships. We are not always privy to how much compromise or pain was endured. Furthermore, just because a couple never gets a legal divorce doesn’t mean that they have remained married in the true sense of biblical marriage. Christ taught in Matthew 5:27-28, that if a man looks at another woman to lust after her, he has already committed adultery in his heart. Many people who are legally married have actually divorced in their hearts, because they are no longer submitted to one another in unity. They live lives of opposition, in disunity, but still live together and have occasional sex. Some married couples are in such disunity that they no longer have sex, or they may even sleep in separate beds. All this while legally still married. Some couples are divided, but they stay in marriage for the children, or due to financial dependency. These are all very sad and unfortunate circumstances, and do not come close to our Father’s vision for marriage or becoming ONE.

Many people get married having no idea what it really means, or what it will require. Marriage is just one of many things that people get involved in without research, or fully reading the manual (BIBLE- Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth). Existence is the result of biological circumstance, but to live is to answer a call to a vision given by GOD. Being married is just a legal matter, but becoming ONE is a supernatural act only realized through the power of GOD. Unity comes to fruition as a couple submits to His vision for their lives, while living moment to moment by faith. It is impossible to fulfill the requirements of life’s callings without GOD. That which we accomplish in our own strength award us the praise and approval of men, but it is what we accomplish by faith  that please GOD.

There are no 10 steps to a happy marriage, or 20 steps to a successful life; only seeking life through faith in GOD, moment by moment, and day by day. Anything else is manmade and falls short of GOD’s glory. This is what Romans 3:23 is referring too; the sum of our lives when lived in our own strength. On the contrary, the life we live through faith in GOD’s ability is glorious. In the second year of my marriage, I realized it was beyond me. This was even before having children. I fell on my face and cried out for GOD’s anointing to fulfill His vision for me as a husband, and a father.

The “Love” spoken of in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 is impossible to embody without abiding in GOD, because He is “Love.” We will never be the husband, wife, father, mother, or person we were called to be until we surrender to the governance of GOD’s love, by faith.  Husband, do you think it is impossible to love your wife in sacrificial love the way Christ loves the church…It is unless you surrender to the Word and the Spirit, and allow GOD to do it through you. Wife, do you believe it is impossible to love your husband with sacrificial love as the church loves Christ…It is unless you surrender to the Word and the Spirit, and allow GOD to do it through you. The cost is the same for all…It will cost you everything you have and then some…but you were made for this and the reward is beautiful beyond description.

Stop trying to figure it all out and start focusing on just being in GOD. The rest will work itself out. Through being born again in Christ, we have 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 within us. We just need to work it out, moment by moment, through the awareness given by the Holy Spirit. The motivation to do the work comes from the joy of the vision that GOD sets before us. If the work seems to difficult, then the vision needs to be restored. To have the vision restored, it is necessary to spend some time with GOD in solitude, so you can hear Him. The just shall live by faith, and faith comes from “hearing” the Word of GOD. You will not see clearly, until you hear clearly. In marriage, the husband and wife must have intimate time with GOD, not just with one another, if they are to succeed in fulfilling the vision of GOD for their union. This is the part that is most neglected. A couple can date each other, and have all the intimacy with each other that they can handle, but the love of 1st Corinthians 3 will only come from intimacy with GOD. The Love that never fails is the Love that is sourced from faith in GOD.

holding hands

 

Parenting for Life

Trinty of the motherland

It is estimated that there are over seven billion people on earth. Of these seven billion, all of them can be potential friends, with the exception of two. The two out of seven billion are your parents. Parents are meant to be parents, not friends. The role of a parent should never be confused with the role of a friend. The first commandment with the promise of a reward does not say, “Honor your friend, that your life may be long.” It says, “Honor your mother and your father that your life may be long.” Parents are ordained of the Creator as the first guardians of your life. In their role as guardians, they will have commandments and guidelines that should be respectfully heeded unto the preservation of your life. I know that there are circumstances where parents are abusive or negligent, and that is an awful perversion of purpose which often calls for others to step in and fulfill the role.

If parents have a GOD complex, it is only because they serve by design as archetypes of the Most High. Parents and their children create a model of the relationship that will be later replicated with the Heavenly Father. When parents speak to their children with definitive and absolute authority, they are rightfully representing GOD in the children’s life. If the children do not learn to submit to this parental authority, they will inevitably rebel against GOD’s authority as well.

Parents, I encourage you to stand uncompromisingly in the place of authority you have been given by GOD, that you may save the lives of your children in the long run. Do not relinquish your authoritative role as parents for a less confrontational role as friend to pacify your child or to try to maintain a “feel good” relationship. Resist the compromising influence that comes from a world that disregards the preeminent authority of the Creator to its own destruction. Mankind has created many unsustainable structures, both socially and physically, due stiff-necked irreverence to the authority of the Creator.

In the most natural sense, a man and a woman must become one before they can become parents. Through the unity of the act of marriage, parents become one and represent one authority; the authority of THE Creator. GOD gave authority to mankind, which consist of families (father-mother-children), to subdue and rule the earth. This is symbolic of the Father, the Holy Spirit, and Yeshua ruling all creation. The physical is an example of the spiritual and the hidden things of GOD can clearly be seen through the things He has made. The perversion and destruction of natural order and other constructs of GOD by the wicked one are meant to hinder our ability to perceive and understand divine principles. The fallen angel, called Lucifer, wants mankind to be alienated from the Truth so that his lies may have power. Yeshua came to earth as Truth and Light to make the way of life clear. Salvation has been brought to the world in the context of a loving family. We see a relationship between an obedient and beloved Son and a faithful, loving Father. Love personified through a family displaying order and harmony in selflessness.

(Pictured called “The Trinity of the Motherland” artist unknown to me)

Sweet Somethings

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Sweet nothings are like heart-shaped bubbles that float from your heart through the air and pops on your lover’s nose, releasing a fragrant aroma,

They are ebbs that cascade over the cup of your heart from love yearning to be expressed,

They can be shared verbal kisses and caresses which sustain lovers that hunger for one another,

Sweet nothings are like little star stickers that lovers exchange that say, “I think you are fantastic”,

Sweet nothings can really make you feel special,

You know….Sweet nothings really are something!

I believe as love matures, instead of becoming more practical and toned down, it should increase in brilliance, impact, and expression. This doesn’t necessarily mean a huge display, but just the right thing at the right time or something totally unexpected but that hits the heart right were it was needed. I feel in my life at times, the Lord has often blessed me with sweet somethings right when I needed it, in a way that I knew it was only from Him and personal. I could give some examples, but it’s kind of private..you know…between lovers. Yeshua is the greatest Lover of all times. I believe that is what scriptures speak to when it says, “O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him. ”Psalm34:8. When scriptures profess, “The Lord has appeared of old to me, saying: “Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you.”. Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV).

I know I started this post talking about lovers sharing sweet nothings, and I ended up talking about the goodness of GOD. It is because nothing or no one frees the heart to love like knowing that you are loved by GOD. The weights and cares of this life tend to smother the flame of love that is meant to warm one another’s heart, but the Love of GOD has a way of lifting those cares so that the flame can get air and burn fervently.

Just like the many sunsets, sunrises, butterflies, and song birds that can go unnoticed by burdened and busy hearts, so can the sweet somethings from your loved ones if you have not given all your cares to GOD. The scriptures say, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6 (NKJV),

Love Prevails Over Leviathan

Bossmonster_Leviathan1

When he raises himself up, the mighty are afraid;
Because of his crashings they are beside themselves.
Though the sword reaches him, it cannot avail;
Nor does spear, dart, or javelin.
He regards iron as straw,
And bronze as rotten wood.
The arrow cannot make him flee;
Slingstones become like stubble to him.
Darts are regarded as straw;
He laughs at the threat of javelins.
His undersides are like sharp potsherds;
He spreads pointed marks in the mire.
He makes the deep boil like a pot;
He makes the sea like a pot of ointment.
He leaves a shining wake behind him;
One would think the deep had white hair.
On earth there is nothing like him,
Which is made without fear.

(Job 41:25-33)

As you read the description of this creature, you get the picture of a monster that is indestructible to man and indeed it is. The creature is Leviathan and there are more descriptions of him in Job 41, like his sharp teeth and impenetrable scales. Leviathan’s rule over man would be absolute without divine intervention. In the book of Job, Leviathan is called the king of all the children of pride. Leviathan rules like the pharaoh that contended with God to keep the Hebrews enslaved. Just as Yahweh sent Moses to deliver the Hebrew slaves from the tyranny of pharaoh, so has He sent Yeshua to deliver all of man from the tyranny of Leviathan. The Hebrew slaves, under the tyranny of pharaoh, were not free to worship God according to His will and had to be delivered. A person dominated by a spirit of pride and selfishness, under the rule Leviathan, also needs to be delivered in order to do God’s will.

Leviathan’s domination is evident in what is known as the first law of nature; Self-preservation. The focus on self is the signature of egotistical pride. Compare being ruled by the first law of carnal nature, to the two greatest laws in Yahweh’s kingdom, which also reflects His nature;

  1. Love the lord your God with all of your heart, mind and strength.

  2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

The only mention of self is in reference to how one cares for another. The nature of God’s kingdom is Love, versus the nature of those ruled by Leviathan, which is selfishness. You will be ruled by selfishness of pride until you are set free by Yeshua the Savior.

In order to be part of the body of Christ, you have to see and care for others as your self, you must have the ability to Love. You can never truly be unified with anyone else without Love. Marriage, families, and communities, fall apart without Love. This is why the Salvation of Christ begins with putting SELF on the cross; renouncing the law of self-preservation through entrusting the preserving of your life to Yeshua. Surrendering your life, by taking up the cross, makes way for divine Love to be birthed into your life. As Love delivers us from the oppressive phobias of selfishness, we are free to experience life as never before. He whom the son makes free, is free indeed!

Once you start to experience true freedom, you realize your were not free to even enjoy free things until you were freed your self. It’s true, only free people can really enjoy free things. People in bondage to selfishness through pride turn free things into more bondage. You see this manifested through hording, gluttony, and greed. Sometimes you can’t even give a selfish person a free gift, because they are to concerned about the hidden cost that the phobias of selfishness are projecting. This is why the free gift of Salvation through Christ is often left on the table, that is until we become broken and there is no more confidence in self. They that seek their life will lose it, and they that lose their life will find it. Through embracing the Cross of Christ you find true love, true freedom, and true Life.

(The image of Leviathan was found at BuddyJiang’s Portfolio: http://hokiboshi.net/portfolio/leviathan/)

Love, Pure From the Source

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My first Love and most intimate friend is Yeshua, the Savior and Redeemer. No one that I know or has ever known can compete with the  love he has shown me. He never ever tires of me. Every time I reach out to Him, He is eager to engage me. Every detail of my life is significant to Him, no matter how small. He never entertains accusations brought against me, not even for a second. He is my greatest advocate. His responses to me are always based on what is best for me, no matter what the cost is to Him.

Just from the characteristics of His love I have mentioned so far, no one I know can approach the fervency of His love. This is not to diminish the love from my wife or my family or friends, but it is to show the strength, depth, and excellency of my Savior’s love for me, and there is still more. His love is not stifled by the ugliest of my flaws. In full view of who I am, His love has had the same intensity for me, for every moment of my existence. He pursues me relentlessly. He prepares a heavenly banquet of blessings for me every day of my life, regardless of how much I leave on the table due to my evolving earthly palate. He is Love and He is faithful and true to himself regardless of me.

If you are looking to anyone else or anything else to fill the boundless cup of your soul, you will never be truly satisfied. I am a grateful benefactor of Yeshua’s boundless grace and mercy and I just want to give the greatest lover of my soul a shout out during this Valentine’s weekend. After the roses have wilted, the candy has been eaten, and the candles are all burnt out, there is one still willing to celebrate the most intimate love with you every day, GOD. The best lovers are those that learn from the best, Yeshua the Messiah (Jesus Christ).  Never settle for less.