Recently, I was examining my heart to see how much of what I do is motivated from a desire for validation. As I thought more about it, I realized that people look for validation from things that they think will add value to them. I decided to look up the word “validate” to see if my conclusion lined up with the meaning of the word. Here is the definition from Merriam Webster.
“To recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of”
The key word in that definition is “worthiness,” which is worth or value. So, to seek validation is to seek to have your worth or value recognized or established. The counsel of the Spirit was right on point.
Throughout civilization, I can see two main symbols which the majority of people believe establishes validation. People often don’t consider themselves or others valuable unless they have these symbols of validation. These symbols of validation are popularity, and riches of high exchangeable value. When you look at people considered celebrities, these two symbols are always associated with them. High popularity is viewed as many people acknowledging a person’s value. Expensive items project their value to the one which possesses them. This misguided and materialistic mentality has made many people vulnerable to depression, manipulation, and exploitation. In a world of merchandising, people with this mentality are often turned into merchandise because you are also bought by what you buy into. It is an exchange where you receive the merchandise and popularity, while the seller receives your focus, time, and energy, which equates to your life. Whether the investment is emotional or monetary, it takes focus, time, and energy.
Many people’s lives are consumed by a pursuit of validation through materialism. It is truly a form of bondage because most merchandise sold loses value as new things enter the market to become the latest and greatest. This creates a never-ending cycle of consumerism, which can also lead to debt and unbalanced living from working too much. There are others who are consumed with pleasing people for their continued acceptance. This takes enormous energy because so little of what you give to people is returned by them. Also, people can be very erratic making pleasing them very exhausting. Maintaining validity and popularity in the eyes of the world shackles you to materialism and constant conformity.
There is a more true, enduring, and peaceable way to fulfill this legitimate need for affirmation and validation. The only one who can truly validate you is the one who made you, YAHWEH, by the power of His Word, YESHUA HAMASHIACH.
1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life; and the life was the light of men. (John 1:1-4 KJV)
YAHWEH recognized and established your value when HE sent His only procreated Son to the cross to redeem you. To redeem is to make an exchange for something of value, or to buy back. You will never find a greater and more lasting validation than the love expressed for you through your redemption by the Lamb of GOD. Please let that reality sink into your heart, because once it does you will never need a man or a woman to establish your value; you will never need anything manufactured in this earth to establish your value. You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. There are many people claiming to be free, yet they are still shackled to finding validation in this world. You see it in the competitiveness and striving, in the boasting and self-promoting, in the envying and the coveting.
You see it in the many failed relationships, doomed from the beginning, by two people seeking love. There is a significant difference in entering a relationship to share the love received from GOD versus entering a relationship seeking love for validation. I don’t care what you have heard a thousand times in worldly love songs, you only give your heart to GOD, because He is the only one that can preserve it and satisfy it fully. Misguided people have had their hearts shattered by putting expectations on people who were never capable of fulfilling them. Please understand, it is a blessing from GOD to receive His love from friends and family, but as you mature and establish your own connection with GOD there is a liberation like the severing of an umbilical connection which allows you to enter greater intimacy with GOD. Sanctify GOD alone as the source of your validation for true fulfillment and continued well-being.
“18The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
19 To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.” (Luke 4:18-19 NKJV)
This is a prophecy that only Christ can fulfill in your life. Nothing in this world can bring the deep and lasting deliverance found in the Love of GOD. Not only are people in bondage seeking this fulfillment from others and the world, but people are also in bondage and under heavy burden trying to provide this fulfillment to others. It is a job for GOD alone. Let that truth liberate your soul and allow you to step aside that GOD may do what only He can. Let this truth liberate your heart to forgive all those who have hurt you as they failed to do what only GOD was meant to. Also, forgive yourself for those you have hurt and for the hurtful situations you have put yourself into while seeking love and validation in the wrong places. As you release these things from your heart you will find a greater capacity to receive the love which comes from GOD. As more of GOD’s love enters your heart, it will bring healing, restoration, liberty, and peace. The love of GOD will make you whole. The warmth of GOD’s love fills the cold voids of the soul eliminating the need for the merchandise and acceptance of this world. You eventually come to the place where you experience what it means to truly be free indeed. You will find that you can share love in kindness, not needing anything in return. You will find a peace and contentment that allows you to be patient and temperate. These are characteristics of the holy, or those who have been made whole by the love of GOD.