I recently searched for the word “unconditional” in several versions of the Holy Bible and you know what…I couldn’t find it. So, where does a person get the idea that God’s love is unconditional? My guess is the same place as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. I realize that this is a bubble buster for some readers but it shouldn’t be. Think for a minute, have you ever seen anything last that had no order, system, guidelines, or rhythm. I think not. Anything sustainable has to have order. Specific conditions are implicit to order. Love is realized through relationship. A condition of relationship is communication. Communication requires certain conditions to be effective. So where am I going with this. The flesh loathes the restraint required by conditions and will resist it even to its own hurt. So let me encourage you to read this to completion even though your flesh may already be rejecting it. The thought of unconditional love soothes the flesh. Unconditional love removes any consequences from our actions in relationship to God’s acceptance and approval. Where there are no consequences there is no need for restraint and this makes the flesh happy. Though the absence of restraint pleases the flesh it really grieves the spirit. The spirit loves order and judgment. The flesh and the spirit are opposed.
Galatians 5:16 says, “I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”
Love is of the spirit because God is love and He is spirit.
John 4:22-24 reads, “You worship what you do not know; we know what we worship, for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.”
These are all conditions for having a relationship with God. God is seeking those who don’t have issues with restraint.
Here is what Jesus informed everyone in Luke 9:23, “And he said to them all, if any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
The cross is where our flesh meets the conditions of God. The desire for unconditional love is the flesh trying to circumvent the cross. I am not saying that God withholds love from us until we meet His conditions. Gods knows unless He gives us the seeds of love in the first place we want have anything to offer back to him. God is a just God and it would not be just of Him to require something of us that He has not made sure we have the means to fulfill. It is because God has given us abundant love that He requires love of us, unto Him and our fellowman. The idea of unconditional love implies that God expects nothing of us and this is not true.
John 15:12 says, “This is my commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you.”
God requires us to love, and not just in any old way we choose but He requires us to love even as He has loved. Unconditional love is love without standards and without standards there is no assurance of reliability. In order for us to have the abundant life that Jesus promised we have to follow His recipe.
theinscribedheart 
I believe that God exhibits both unconditional and conditional love to us.
Agape love is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the bible. This love which is of and from God, whose very nature is love itself. The Apostle John affirms this in 1 John 4:8: “God is love.” God does not merely love; He is love itself. Everything God does flows from His love. God loves because that is His nature and the expression of His being. He loves the unlovable and the unlovely, not because we deserve to be loved, but because it is His nature to do so, and He must be true to His nature and character.
God’s unconditional love for us is displayed most clearly at the Cross, where Christ died for the unworthy creatures who were “dead in trespasses and sins” (Ephesians 2:1), not because we did anything to deserve it, “but rather, God shows His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). The object of agape love never does anything to merit His love. We are the undeserving recipients upon whom He lavishes that love. His love was demonstrated when He sent His Son into the world to “seek and save that which was lost” (Luke 19:10), and to provide eternal life to those He sought and saved. He paid the ultimate sacrifice for those He loves.
Now, If we are to love as God loves, that love—that agape—can only come from its true Source. This is the love which “has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit given to us” when we became His children (Romans 5:5). Because that love is now in our hearts, we can obey Jesus who said, “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. As I have loved you, you should also love one another”(conditional love). This new commandment involves loving one another as He loved us sacrificially, even to the point of death. But again, it is clear that only God can generate within us the kind of self-sacrificing love which is the proof that we are His children. “By this we have known the love of God, because He laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers” (1 John 3:16). Because of God’s love toward us, we are now able to love one another.
And even at the end of our life here on earth, It’s not the love that will admit us into heaven when we die because John says, “Be faithful unto death, and I will give you the crown of life” (Revelation 2:10). And faithfulness is a condition.
So you see, God loves us both conditionally and unconditionally. The important thing to remember here is that God loves us and He is love, so everything that we do out of love ultimately comes from God.
Jeff,
First, thanks for following my blog and taking the time to read and process the contents. Wow, your comment was longer than my post but no worries. I know you are passionate about the things of God and that is great! I appreciate all you have written. Fundamentally I believe we agree. We agree that God is love. I believe there is a difference between loving freely and loving unconditionally. I see what you have explained above as God loving freely. Even when we are given something freely there are conditions to redeeming the offer. I am speaking about the love of God as in relationship. Everyone benefits from God’s loving nature but not everyone is in relationship with Him. Christ giving His life on the cross satisfied the conditions that made us eligible to be the children of God. We read this in John 1:11-13, “He came to His own,and His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” We see here it says Jesus gave to those who received Him, receiving is a condition of giving.
There are some that say we are all God’s children. That is a very popular and widely accepted idea but it is not true. In John chapter 8 a group of Jews told Jesus that God was their father and this is how Jesus responded, “If God were your Father, you would love Me, for I proceeded forth and came from God; nor have I come of Myself, but He sent Me. Why do you not understand My speech? Because you are not able to listen to My word. You are of your father the devil, and the desires of your father you want to do.” Until we are willing to surrender all of our nice ideas about how things are based on our feelings, deception will stand between us and the abundant life that comes after the cross.
Thanks Deuntray for your response and for explaining your approach on God’s love from a relational viewpoint. I respect your opinion, however, still feel that God clearly demonstrates Unconditional love to us, whether we accept that love or not.
To make my point, consider those He loved in the Bible. He loved an adulterer and murderer called David. He pursued a persecuting Pharisee named Saul. When He wanted to portray His love for Israel He told the prophet Hosea to marry and love an unfaithful woman. When He walked the earth in human form He developed a reputation as a friend of sinners and told stories about prodigals who were loved even though they had done nothing deserving of love. He loved lepers and Gentiles, thieving tax-collectors and rotten Samaritans.
God simply loves us because He is love and it’s His nature to love. And thank God this is so, for there is no hope except that He loves us. If He did not love us unconditionally, He wouldn’t have died for us and there would be no new covenant based on His grace. But He does and He did and there is!
Easy now brother. Yelling doesn’t do anything to validate your position. Surely God’s love for us is always perfect whether we are sinful or righteous however there are benefits of God’s love that are absolutely conditional. The grace that God shows sinners is conditional.
You used David and Saul for examples, so let me share there position on this matter from their own words. First let’s hear from David. In Psalm 51 David is pleading with God because of his sin and iniquities, “Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.” David is obviously concerned about being cast from God’s presence. If there were no conditions to remaining in God’s acceptance and approval there would be no need for this plea. Now let’s hear from Saul. In 1st Corinthians 9 Saul is sharing how he does not take God’s grace for granted but takes measures to ensure that he does not fall from grace. He writes, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” In other versions it reads, “I myself should become a castaway.” Before Saul could be disqualified he had to have first been qualified. Qualifying speaks directly to meeting certain conditions. We see both David and Saul concerned about maintaining the conditions necessary to stay in God’s grace and favor to avoid the consequence of being taken from His presence.
Now that we have heard from David and Saul let’s here from God. Deuteronomy 11:27-28, “Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God..” Take a look at John 15:1-6, “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” If you do not bear fruit you are disqualified and removed from His presence. You are still loved but you don’t get any of the benefits. Don’t be confused by the fact that we are living in the age of grace. In the end we all see that conditions applied. Matthew 7:15-23, “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ ”
I have taken this much time with you on this point because I feel that it is one of the most subtle yet diabolical subversion’s of truth in Christianity and unless it is exposed many people are going to get their feelings hurt at judgement. God invites us to come as we are but in order to stay we have to meet the condition of change. We are invited to come as we are but not to stay as we are.
Whew that was a lot of reading but I wanted to read both of your replies. I would say that I agree with both of you and I believe the issue here is mainly in semantics. I believe we’ve had this conversation before Dad but I don’t believe there is any such thing as “falling from grace”. This summer a visiting preacher spoke at the church I attended and preached on The Assurance of Salvation and he said that if anyone could “lose their salvation” he would question whether they had ever truly surrendered their life to God in the first place. I whole-heartedly agree.
I believe that God’s love is unconditional in that “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8) and I believe that before someone accepts Christ they receive his unconditional love knowing that there is nothing they could ever do earn their salvation. When we receive Christ, he gives us eternal life, and we receive His assured affection, acceptance, and approval. I believe God’s love for me is unconditional because at this moment he could not love me any more or any less than he does right now.
Does Jesus have commands for us to follow and expectations of us as His followers? Yes. Take a look at the Gospels. Jesus’ standards might sound extreme to most in our day and age: ” He that loveth father or mother more than Me, is not worthy of Me. And he that loveth son or daughter more than Me, is not worthy of Me.” (Matthew 10:37) Does Jesus expect me to deny myself, take up my cross daily and follow him? Yes. Yes we would fail if we tried to meet these expectations in and of our own strength but when we accept Christ He gives us His Holy Spirit and it is in His power that we are able to deny ourselves and surrender ourselves wholly to Him.
In reference to David, you said “If there were no conditions to remaining in God’s acceptance and approval there would be no need for this plea.” What it seems like you’re implying is that if we don’t meet certain conditions or if we happen to make mistakes or fail at times, God’s acceptance and approval can be removed from us. And this is where I’d like to draw your attention to another time in the Bible when someone is pleading with the Lord concerning their sin – it’s Paul in 2 Corinthians where he talks about the “thorn” in his flesh. Who knows what exactly Paul was struggling with at the time, but this passage is so powerful:
“Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (Corinthians 12: 8-10)
Here Paul is grieved over his flesh and what it is causing him to do because he knows that it is not pleasing to God. but the Lord assures him that His grace is sufficient. When I am struggling with something and I fail to win the fight, I know that when Christ died His blood covered all of my sins (past, present AND future) but I still wish that God could just make me perfect so that I never ever make a mistakes. And we are daily being sanctified and made more holy and this is a process. The Lord knows Paul will fail to meet his perfect standard and perfect conditions (as long as his flesh is still with him and he is on this earth) but he assures Paul that because he has put his faith in Christ, His grace (and acceptance and approval and affection) is enough.
God’s love for Paul and his love for us is unconditional because if we are truly saved and have the Holy Spirit within us we must be “persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing [including us!], shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)
If we are indeed talking about those who have a relationship with God, these two statements you made- “The desire for unconditional love is the flesh trying to circumvent the cross” and “The idea of unconditional love implies that God expects nothing of us and this is not true”- I would have to say I disagree with.
I guess I can’t speak for everyone else but based on my understanding of God and his perfect holiness and my brokenness, unconditional love is appealing because it can be found nowhere else but in Him. Perhaps some view unconditional love as a free pass to do whatever they’d like but if you truly love God with all your heart, soul, and mind we will desire to take up our cross and follow Him. I don’t think the idea of unconditional love implies that God expects nothing from us. Look at Jesus and the disciples. They failed Jesus time and time again and yet He loved them and had high expectations for them.
God’s love is unconditional because unlike our love, His love for us doesn’t fluctuate based on our actions. C.S. Lewis (in his book Mere Christianity) sums it up nicely:
“But the great thing to remember is that, though our feelings come and go, His love for us does not. It is not wearied by our sins, or our indifference; and, therefore, it is quite relentless in its determination that we shall be cured of those sins, at whatever cost to us, at whatever cost to Him.”
Darling you are such a blessing. I am just overjoyed to have you part of this conversation. I am also blessed to see you disagreeing with me because that lets me know you are maturing in your individual relationship with God. That being said let me show you where you are wrong…Just kidding!LOL! A couple of quick things.
1. Though God loves you, you can only become one of His children and enter relationship through Jesus Christ. That is a condition.
2. Yes Christ died for everyone however to appropriate the benefits of the cross you have to give your life as well through taking up your own cross…a condition.
3. You say you don’t believe anyone can fall from grace, think of the parable of the talents that Jesus taught. The Lord graciously gave all the servants talents to sow and get gains with. The one servant that didn’t get any gains was castaway into outer darkness. I would say the grace he had was taken away.
4. There are scriptures that liken our salvation to a race that has to be run all the way to completion and rightly so. Jesus said that they which endure to the end shall be saved not all those who start the race.
5. You spoke about the teacher that mentioned if some one loses their salvation he would have to question if they had given their life in the first place. The true christian doesn’t give his life once, the true christian gives his life each day he lives, hence taking up the cross daily. The giving of our life is a free will offering, you can choose to lay your cross down. That is why I quoted Paul saying that he keeps his flesh under subjection that he doesn’t become a castaway after writing most of the new testament.
6. Lastly, if God’s love is unconditional how do you reconcile this unconditional love with those He will cast away from His presence into outer darkness to spend the rest of eternity in torment.
I could go on but I believe I have shared enough to support my stand. There is something about God destroying people that just doesn’t sit right with the carnal mind. People say that God is good all the time and that He is just but then they have a problem with His ruling on those who refuse to submit to him. There was a plague in the old testament where the Midianitish women were causing the men of Israel to sin therefore bringing a curse upon the Children of Israel. Then a man took one of the Midianite women into his tent in front of Moses and the congregation, this bold act of betrayal enraged the son of a priest so much that he grabbed a javelin went into the tent and drove it through their bodies while they were together killing them both. The bible says the Lord was so pleased with this act of zeal on His behalf that He stopped the plague. God is good all the time. Read about it in Numbers Chapter 25. This God is not popular with the masses. People like the lamb but can’t seem to deal with the lion but our God is a lion and a lamb and he will tear you too pieces.
I leave you all with Psalm 50:16-23,
But to the wicked God says:
“What right have you to declare My statutes,
Or take My covenant in your mouth, Seeing you hate instruction
And cast My words behind you? When you saw a thief, you consented with him, And have been a partaker with adulterers. You give your mouth to evil,
And your tongue frames deceit. You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son. These things you have done, and I kept silent; You thought that I was altogether like you; But I will rebuke you,
And set them in order before your eyes. Now consider this, you who forget God, Lest I tear you in pieces, And there be none to deliver: Whoever offers praise glorifies Me; And to him who orders his conduct aright I will show the salvation of God.”
Hey brother, I wanted to put my two-cents in here, for what it’s worth. I’ve enjoyed reading your post and the subsequent exchange between you and the others regarding God’s love. I like these kinds of volleys because they allow us to get a better picture of what each other is trying to say, and for me, that is what has taken place here. What I mean is that your post is about unconditional love vs. conditional love, however when reading your responses to Jeff and Shaina, you aren’t talking about unconditional love at all. In fact, you actually talk about quite a few things other than unconditional love in an attempt to defend your position. Let me share with you what I’m talking about. And for the record, I also disagree with you about your premise that God’s love is conditional- I believe it is absolutely unconditional.
First, I want to restate a couple of verses in full that Shaina shared, that I believe are key to this discussion. As you and I have discussed, it’s dangerous to look at scripture in a vacuum; meaning we can’t take one or two verses and then extrapolate from them to create a doctrine that isn’t there. That said, this is one of those verses that does stand on its own. That is to say there is no ambiguity and the context is clear.
For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him. For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life. And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.
~Romans 5:6-11
In other words, there is absolutely nothing that we can do to merit, or for that matter, lose the love of God, as Paul goes on to discuss later in Romans 8. He calls us the ungodly, sinners and enemies. Our reconciliation came not through our actions, but through the way he demonstrated His love towards us by laying down His own life, despite us. That is unconditional love lived out in the flesh.
Now, to the point I was making about the exchange between you and the others- how you started your post about unconditional/conditional love yet changed your position/focus in your replies. In replying to Jeff and Shaina, you addressed their thoughts with these different statements (my responses will follow in parentheses):
– Surely God’s love for us is always perfect whether we are sinful or righteous however there are benefits of God’s love that are absolutely conditional. The grace that God shows sinners is conditional. (Here you even state that God’s love for us is always perfect whether sinful or righteous, but what you discuss as conditional are his benefits and grace. These are two totally different issues that I would agree are conditional depending on our response to Him.)
– David is obviously concerned about being cast from God’s presence. If there were no conditions to remaining in God’s acceptance and approval there would be no need for this plea. Now let’s hear from Saul. In 1st Corinthians 9 Saul is sharing how he does not take God’s grace for granted but takes measures to ensure that he does not fall from grace. He writes, “But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.” In other versions it reads, “I myself should become a castaway.” Before Saul could be disqualified he had to have first been qualified. Qualifying speaks directly to meeting certain conditions. We see both David and Saul concerned about maintaining the conditions necessary to stay in God’s grace and favor to avoid the consequence of being taken from His presence. (Again, you aren’t addressing God’s love as conditional, but God’s acceptance and approval, not falling from God’s grace and favor, and remaining in His presence. These, again, are conditional based on our actions but are in no way addressing God’s unyielding love for us as individuals.)
– Now that we have heard from David and Saul let’s here from God. Deuteronomy 11:27-28, “Behold, I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the Lord your God..” (Here we are again, addressing the ramifications of our choices. Does Israel, or us for that matter, chose to walk in God’s ways or our own, choosing a blessing or a curse, life or death. We’re not told we’ll be loved if we walk out His commandments, but we’ll receive a blessing. Likewise, we’re not told we’ll lose His love because we’ve chosen to not obey His commands, rather we’ll receive a curse.)
– Though God loves you, you can only become one of His children and enter relationship through Jesus Christ. That is a condition. And, Yes Christ died for everyone however to appropriate the benefits of the cross you have to give your life as well through taking up your own cross…a condition. (The two points you bring up here are whether or not we’re one of His children by virtue of a relationship with Christ and whether or not we appropriate the benefits of the cross by taking up our cross daily. You’re right, these are conditional. We have to choose to accept Christ as savior and Lord, and we have to choose take up our cross. But both of these are independent of God’s love; He loves us whether we do these things or not. See again Romans 5. But should we choose to make a choice to not do these things, you’re right; we don’t get the benefits of salvation or those things given to us by God as a result of taking up our cross.)
It’s the same with our children. I love all of my children unconditionally. They could do anything and I’ll still love them, I might not be happy, I might not approve, but I’ll always love them. Now, if they choose to not follow the guidelines of our home or the standards we’ve set forth, they’ll not be able to enjoy the full benefits that are available to them. With disregard and disobedience comes correction and punishment, but the love never fails or falters. Think about the prophet Hosea and his wife Gomer; an amazing story and picture of God’s love for us, even when we’re walking in our own ways. Think about the prodigal son. Both Gomer and the prodigal made destructive choices and they certainly paid dearly for those choices. By not walking in the commands or conditions of God, they, as you said, weren’t able to enjoy the benefits and approval of God, but God still relentlessly pursued them, waiting for the day they’d come home. His love was ruthless, it never failed, it was absolute, it was complete.
It was because of this profound love that I’m where I’m at today in my life. My earthly father was the epitome of conditional love; it was a horrible thing growing up under that weight. However God has shown me that even when I fail or make bad choices, His love is unchanging. His love is unconditional.
So, in closing, my take away by virtue of your responses, is that you are really saying the blessings, benefits and favor of God are conditional and based on the choices we make every day – and with this I completely agree. I just think scripture is far too clear to show anything other than the fact that His love is anything but unconditional. As His kids, he demands righteousness from us, and it’s through the unconditional love that He showers us with every moment, that we’re able to joyfully and desirously walk out His ways and shine His light into our dark world.
Peace.
Kevin, thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this post. I really appreciate the zeal and love for truth that it takes to read through a post like this one. Here is my response to your comments.
I do not separate God’s approval, acceptance, grace, or salvation from His love. We know that we are loved by the expressions and works of love. As the scripture says faith without works is dead, so is love without expression or works. How do you know if someone loves you? How do you show someone that you love them? If the answers to these two questions are not present then how can love still be? If you stopped providing for your children and stopped communicating with them and told them you never wanted to see them again, would you still consider yourself loving them? It is no doubt that they would consider your love for them at an end. You agree with me that the benefits or expressions of love are conditional but hold that the love itself is not. The sun gives heat regardless but depending on where you are positioned to it you could be warmed or freeze to death. God loves regardless but we need to be concerned about where we are positioned to him or we could find ourselves in a place where His love does not touch us. Believe me, I could care less about proving my point, but what I do care about is a proper understanding of truth and how it affects our existence. There are many people that believe the benefits of God’s love, hence His love, will always be available for them to know regardless of their actions and this is just not true. There is a even a time limit on the door that is now open to the gentiles to come into the fold as Jesus gave many parables regarding. Where there is an “IF” there is a qualifier or condition. Read the “If’s” in the block of scripture below that speaks specifically about continuing in God’s love from John 15:9-14.
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love. If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full. This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”
This could not be clearer.